Commandeering The Short Lady’s Car

One day a fellow officer called for back up to fight at bar. Unfortunately Curt was having his patrol vehicle worked on and he didn’t have another mode of transportation so he stepped out into the street and flagged down a passing motorist to commandeer their vehicle. Turned out it was a little old lady in her early seventies. Probably about four feet tall. “Move over mam, I need to commandeer your vehicle for an emergency,” said Curt as he jumped in behind the steering wheel. The woman dutifully scooted across to the other side of the bench seat. No doubt shocked at what was happening. Since she had the seat so far forward due to her height, or lack thereof, Curt banged his knees hard on the underside of the dash. He groaned but avoided his normal string of curse words. Reaching down to the control side of the seat he released the seat and pushed it back hard with his legs. The woman probably received some degree of whiplash with the sudden push back and sudden stopping of the seat but she said nothing. Curt closed the door, pulled the gear selector into drive and mashed the gas pedal to the floor all in one motion. The car, although it did have a full size V8 engine had probably never been over forty miles per hour since the woman had purchased it. A huge cloud of black smoke poured out from behind as the horse power awakened for the first time in it’s life. The sudden acceleration threw the woman back in her seat as Curt headed toward the call. As he approached the first corner where he needed to make a right turn, he released the gas and tapped the brakes. The brakes, like the engine had not ever been stressed since the woman had bought the vehicle. They pulled hard to the left. Curt managed to break the car to the right and accelerate into the corner, sliding, drifting the car to make the corner at speed and then mashed the gas down again.

Once he arrived at the location that the backup had been called for he stopped the car in the street, “Thank you mam,” he stepped out of the vehicle and walked into the bar. Unfortunately, even though he had arrived in mere minutes, the fight was over. Assistance was no longer needed. Seeing the woman still sitting in the middle of the street, Curt grabbed the first drunk inside the door and said, “Come with me.” He pulled the man out the front door by the collar and waved at the woman. Now her story was complete so she smiled and drove away. Curt took the man back into the bar and sat him back down in the same seat, “Thank you sir. Here let me pay for your next beer.” Curt fetched a five from his wallet and slapped it on the table. The man was so inebriated he really had no understanding of what had just happened but he was more than happy to accept the payment for whatever it was.

Curt then walked over to the officer that had called for back up, “When you’re done here I’m going to need a ride back out to my patrol vehicle.”

Find out more about Curt at The Chief Is Missing

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Pizza

Dating for a police officer is a little different. At least for Curt. There weren’t a string of one night stands. He wanted to be respectful, thoughtful and careful. When he met a girl he was interested in there would usually be a string of dates before they ever kissed.

Cathy Burns, a beautiful waitress at the Richland TJ’s restaurant. She had a pleasant, easy smile and casual nature. 

One night after he had ordered his dinner and Cathy was refilling his coffee, Curt got up the nerve, “So, Cathy. I wonder if it would be possible, I mean, may I request your company to join me for a movie and dinner some time?”

Cathy grinned. “Why Officer Curt, if that’s how you ask a girl out on a date… I thought you’d never ask.” She wrote her phone number on the back of his hand.

“I’m on nights until Wednesday. Can we plan on going this Friday if you don’t already have plans,” asked Curt.

“Well, I was going to do laundry and watch TV but I think I can clear my schedule,” Cathy responded with a wink.

That Friday Curt went and picked Cathy up and asked her, “So where would you like to have dinner?”

 “How about Round Table Pizza,” said Cathy. “I really love Pizza.”

Curt drove there and parked then got out and went around to open the door for Cathy and escorted her inside.

Once they were seated, “So what’s your favorite pizza,” asked Curt.

“Pepperoni and black olive,” Cathy answered without hesitation.

“Okay, then there’s no need to waste time looking at the menu,” said Curt with a smile. “What size should we order?”

“Let’s get a large,” replied Cathy. Again as if this was a predetermined issue.

“Are you sure? A large pizza can feed a family of twelve or six lumber jacks. I’m hungry and willing but I doubt I could eat half of a medium,” asked Curt.

“No, I’m really hungry and I really love pizza,” Cathy affirmed.

So Curt ordered the large. When it arrived Cathy ate two pieces. Curt could only eat four even as hungry as he was. That left half the pizza untouched. 

After dinner they went to see a movie and Curt drove her home.

The next time he asked her out Curt asked, “Where would you like to eat tonight? How about something besides pizza?”

“No, I really want pizza,” answered Cathy. 

“You’re kidding. Last time you only ate two pieces. We ended up feeding the homeless. Which I don’t have a problem with but I’d like you to enjoy dinner. Maybe a burger or steak,” said Curt.

“No, can we please go for pizza,” Cathy begged.

He drove her to Round Table and escorted her inside. Once they were seated and the waitress came to take their order, Curt looked at Cathy, “How about we get a medium this time?”

“I’m really hungry,” said Cathy with a pouty face for emphasis.

Curt looked at the waitress, “Is there a group of hungry teenagers that you can have standing by? We’ll have the large pepperoni with black olives please.”

The pizza arrived and again Cathy only ate two pieces. Curt began to debate whether this might be some kind of test. Was this Cathy’s way of determining her power over the guy or maybe how gullible he was personally? 

They went to another movie and he took Cathy home.

Before he asked her out again, Curt had to consider the pros and cons. Cathy was fun, intelligent, good company, and easy on the eyes. The only strike against her was the pizza issue. Still, he was interested. So he asked her out again.

Once he had picked her up and they were driving off he started, “Look, Cathy, you’re great company and I really like spending time with you. But I gotta say the whole large pizza deal is a real set back. Can we eat somewhere else tonight?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Cathy answered. “But I really love pizza. I just really wanted you to like me and I didn’t want you to think I was a pig.”

“Not an issue, really. So can we eat somewhere else,” Curt begged.

“Can we go for pizza one more time? I promise I’ll eat more this time,” Cathy asked.

Curt looked at her. “Seriously? I’ll take you anywhere. Any restaurant in the Tri-Cities. Hell, if you asked I’d drive you to Yakima and let you pick a place to eat there. I’m beginning to feel stupid taking you for pizza.”

Cathy looked back and said, “I know I’ve been a pain in the ass. But honestly, I really love pizza. I don’t get it very often and I really crave it. I promise I’ll eat more this time.”

“No other food will do? Any other restaurant? Honestly? Is this you’re way of testing to see if I’m really interested in you? Come on,” Curt tried to negotiate.

“Please,” Cathy begged.

“Do you have friends that are going to Round Table and waiting for our left overs,” Curt chuckled.

Again, seated and ready to order, Curt tried one more time, “I love pizza too, and I’m hungry but even starving there is only so much I can eat. Can we settle on a medium size and see how it goes?”

“I know, I know. But I’m really hungry, and I promise I’ll eat more. Just one more time can we get a large,” Cathy reaffirmed.

“How about a medium, a bucket of pop and the desert of your choice,” Curt was still trying to end up with less than half of the pizza left over when they left.

“Please,” said Cathy sticking to her guns.

“Are we being watched? Have you made a bet with some friends that you can make me be stupid for you,” Curt said looking around the room.

“No, I just really want pizza. Please?”

Curt looked at the waitress, “How long have you worked here?”

“About a year,” answered the waitress smiling.

“Do other girls come in and ask for a large and then only eat two pieces? Is this some kind of dating thing,” Curt asked.

“No. Most folks settle for a medium unless it’s a group of people,” the waitress responded.

Curt looked at Cathy, “Can we please just get a medium? I can’t eat that much and based on your past performance neither can you.”

Cathy looked down, “I know. But can we please, just one more time get a large?”

“Fine,” said Curt slightly disappointed with himself for being manipulated into doing it again when he had been so determined not to. He looked up at the waitress, “Just out of curiosity, have you ever felt used and abused on a date? Never mind. That’s none of my business. We’ll take the large and can you get me an appointment to have my head examined?”

When the pizza showed up Curt took a piece and set it on his plate.

Cathy began folding pieces over onto each other and started eating three pieces at a time. 

Curt was stunned. Cathy continued not just with the first three pieces, but the next three and then again. It was all Curt could so to get two pieces for himself before the whole pizza was gone.

As she was finishing the last of it and licking her fingers, Curt finally asked, “What the hell? Who are you and what have you done with Cathy?”

“I told you I liked pizza,” she answered.

“Yeah, so do I but before you could only eat two pieces. What happened?”

“Well, I was just to shy before. After our other dates I’d go home and pig out. I just didn’t want to really eat in front of you,” Cathy explained.

“Okay, how about you back it off a little and let me get a few pieces. You know just a little shy is okay,” said Curt.

++++

Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

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The Dark Side

Officer Ken Gooding 545. Did not fit the profile. Just glad to be a part of it all. A nice guy that needed a job and decided to give police work a try. In his late twenties but looked to be fifty. A pretty good officer that really tried to serve the public and do his job. Not pretentious in the least. Unfortunately his personal constitution just wasn’t up to seeing the ugly side of humanity that law enforcement had to deal with. It overwhelmed him. He was shocked at how men like Barbie and Woods  could see it all and keep a sense of humor. One call in particular demonstrated the stark reality to Ken. The three officers had received a call that an ambulance was on it’s way to an address in town regarding an attempted suicide. 

All three officers arrived at the address at the same time. It was a single wide mobile home, with a standard floor plan for the 70’s. As they entered the home the lady of the house was seated on the floor with her back to the couch. Her head down, she was naked, legs spread wide apart facing the front door. The man of the house was in the kitchen with the kids making dinner as if there was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

Woods  and Barbie assessed the situation in an instant and went to work without a word. Barbie to the kitchen to ask the husband how long the subject had been in this condition while he quickly searched for empty pill bottles in that area.

Woods  headed down the hall to the back bathroom and medicine cabinet. Woods  found the empty bottles in the bathroom trash, calling to Barbie that he’d found them, “Jackpot.” They met back at the front door. “The husband says that he and the kids were gone and when they came home this is what they found. They weren’t gone that long. At worst she’s been like this for a couple hours,” Barbie stated.

Woods  and Barbie then pulled the woman onto her back and began to administer CPR which they continued until the ambulance arrived. 

When the ambulance arrived Woods  handed the crew the empty pill bottles while Barbie told them that the subject had most likely been unconscious for two hours. 

Officer Gooding was still frozen just inside the front door, staring. Trying to wrap his head around the situation. He was completely dumbfounded at how the other two officers had calmly reacted. He had seen them work together as a team trusting each other with their lives while under fire. It was something he just couldn’t quite get to. 

Still he was an good officer. He could be counted on to take any order and do his absolute best to follow it to the letter. He liked to smoke and drink with the rest of the officers. But Gooding drank to feel better. Woods and Barbie drank to feel nothing.

++++

Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

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With its unique state of the art design the swimspa offers comfort style and elegance, while offering individual custom jet placement at no extra charge to provide you with the maximum benefits of swimspa therapy. Available as an inground or a beautiful portable swimspa it will relieve and rejuvenate your senses.

At SpaCap.com we are ready to help you design a customized swimspa cover to fit your swimspa manufacturer swimspa

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Kataploon

In High school Curt had taken German in order to talk with his aging great grand parents. Which worked out fine for the last few years of their lives. His great grandmother would often be speaking in English and then slip into German not realizing it. She had lived an incredible life. Coming over to America as a young teenager, arriving at Ellis Island, none of her family that was already here had come to meet her. Speaking very little English at the time she didn’t know what to do or where to go. As luck would have it, the Kennedy family were there that day looking to hire people to work at their estate. So she was hired and worked for a dozen years as an upstairs maid at the Kennedy mansion. Eating and sleeping on the property she never left and had nothing to spend her money on since her needs were being met. Eventually she wrote her brothers. When they found out she had saved up a good amount of money, they came out and got her. They took her money and married her off. Curt’s great grandfather then moved her out west and opened a saloon. So she had gone from being a young immigrant, to working for the Kennedy’s, to working in a saloon out west. She had a wicked sense of humor and stories galore. As a young teenager Curt would sit and play cards with her. She would always win because but it didn’t matter to Curt. He was just there to listen to her stories and laugh at her jokes. But when she passed away, he had no reason to speak German anymore. 

Working in an area with a heavy Mexican immigrant population, he quickly realized that it might have been more useful to have studied Spanish.

Coming across a Mexican man that was wanted for murder, Curt pulled his gun and said “Halt.” The man just smiled and started to go for his weapon. 

“Stop. Don’t move. Freeze,” Curt kept trying but the man just pretended he didn’t understand and kept going, smiling.

Then Curt remembered one day in high school, a couple of his friends were running down the hall pointing their fingers at each other and saying ‘kataploon’ as they pretended to shoot at each other. He had asked one of them what it meant and they had answered it means ‘bang-bang’ in Spanish. 

So now when he really needed it, the word came back to him and he looked at the man and said, “Stop or Kataploon!”

The Mexican man got a puzzled look on his face, stopped and said in perfect English, “What’s Kataploon?”

“It’s bang bang in Spanish,” explained Curt.

“No it’s not!” Declared the Mexican man.

“Well, how do you say bang bang in Spanish,” asked Curt.

“Bang bang,” said the man, a bit exasperated at how stupid the officer was.

“Oh,” said Curt. “By the way, since we now both know you speak English, I’m going to shoot your ass if you don’t put your hands up.”

The man complied and was arrested without incident. He probably couldn’t wait to tell the story  to others about what an idiot Curt was.

++++

Want more stories like this check out the book The Chief Is Missing which is available in audio for those of us that don’t have time to sit down and read.

Another Book by J A Sliger is Code Name Artist. It’s a World War Two drama based on a man that fought the Nazi’s from inside the German Secret Service The Abwehr.

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